about my husband:

Just like music our lives will mesh into one. I for you and you for me. My notes to balance your keys. Together we will walk a path sometimes green sometimes not so green. I am ready, I am ready to make you my husband, my life partner, my soul searcher.
___________________________


15 days after our engagement:

I'm All that to him.And I know it. With a promise in his eyes he came into my life and I felt it the minute I saw his picture. Not realizing that my destiny lay in his palm and my hand fit right into his, I saw him with a bit of love and bit of insecurity. Yes, a bit of love. I did not know this man nor had I ever met him before but the minute I laid my eyes on his picture I felt like I had known him forever. I had a strong pull towards him and I just had to ask my parents to introduce us (a bold move any girl would be afraid to make in an arranged marriage situation). I knew that minute that this man was different and his genuine smile could encompass everything around him and become one with him. He was powerful in a subtle way and his humility showed on his face. That warmth in his eyes made me feel a bit of love without even meeting him and that made me a little jittery about the whole thing. I can never really begin to understand what compelled me to say `Yes' without any hesitance but I could feel that Allah wasn't really giving me a chance or a choice to think He just made me feel assured that this man would keep me happy and everything else would fall right in place. It all felt like destiny. Imran was to be my destiny.

Today, I know his walk, I've read his eyes and I've felt his heart. His love for me is wonderous and truly I'm all that to him and more.

Mirrors of life: An uncertainty that binds us to our familiarities.

It is weird how we tend to let go of things and yet hold on to that very minute part not realizing how, that tiny part is its essence on its own. We fail to recognize that it too like all the others has once again become a part of our being, a part of us that makes us a whole.Relationships are of such a wonderful nature. We tend to move on, we tend to believe that its all done but how many of us really forget and let it out of our minds forever? It is impossible to do so, because with every break up or heartbreak, or with every moment of happiness, pleasure, anger and sorrow we learn and when we learn we treasure.Love, relationships, feelings, needs that entire jungle of emotions can make life seem so demanding mindlessly confusing. However, if we take a step back and look at it for a moment without any prejudice, it could possibly just be another facet of the diamond. A diamond that sparkles more in the sun, which brings out beautiful colors with a spec of light. That spec of light in life is hope. Hope is something we all dwell in, we all keep on craving more off, we all live for. If it weren’t for hope, would there truly be love? I wouldn’t want to leave you with a question but if you think about it, the answer is pretty simple. Hope is the only sanity left in human kind probably the only distinctive feature a man yet preserves.

Goodnight,
Yours truly,
Nobody.
March 7th, 2005.

Say Cheese Mr. Valentine...

Ever wonder why relationships are such a major crisis and yet a major necessity in ones personal growth and well being? Is it even an issue or have we forced ourselves subliminally into believing that loneliness is a bad thing? Life it self requires an individual to grow in a social conduct forcing one to follow the rules of moral dignity, righteousness and communal upbringing. We being social animals, have made life unimaginable to live without a set of relationships, may it be with our parents, siblings, friends or even our lover. To make things more complicated, special days and occasions have been put in place to celebrate each of these relationships, as if coping up with them wasn’t hard enough. Now what if you don’t fit into these criteria’s or fall short of one or more of these relationships? Does that prove that you are incomplete as a person and are doomed for the rest of your life? If not why is a negative connotation put into the words ‘the lonely lady next door who lives with her cat’? Is it really that important to have someone by your side for the rest of your life or is it just a matter of our social view that has been drilled into our heads over the years? Do emotions, feelings really exist or was it just the harshness of the 'survival of the fittest' that brought us together. Was Freud right when he said that human beings by nature are amoral and asocial beings who do not live happily in a society and do so only to make communal life possible and to fulfill one’s own ‘pleasure principle’. Ah! So many questions but who is to know or lay out the truth of what is to be truly human? However, taking a step back into the hot topic of the day ‘relationships’. All I heard from single women today was ‘Valentines day sucks’ with a moping face as if their life just got worse due to St. Valentine. Yah its a pretty good occasion to be with the one you love and to tell them just how much you care, but why is it necessary to feel left out if you don’t have that special someone. Sometimes I really wonder if people are genuinely sad for being alone on a day like this or do they just loathe their very existence, or is it just that they all of a sudden feel the need to have someone else pay attention to their self-revolving world. A part of me does wish to be with someone as well, a part of me does feel lost and wishes for someone to pay extra attention towards me, but then I wonder; do I really need someone or am I just looking to sustain my never ending want for emotional pleasure. Well if that is right, then Freud was a genius to figure out human beings but if people are social beings and do wish for companionship then God surely needs to send a martyr down to save our ever so lonely souls.

Nobody, February 14th 2004.

Solid: Ice Cube

Ice cold, tears frozen, haunted, invisible...
Mystified by the unchanging shape, the inability to flow.
Trapped!
Breathing, in out, exhale inhale...
Senseless, feeling unconscious, dying slowly with every breath.
No Luck!
Touching, scraping, feeling nothing...
Surrounded by numbness; compassion, love, and bliss fading.
No Pain!
Living life, praying, believing, not trusting just there...
Thinking, hoping, loosing faith one second at a time.
Gone!

~ Nobody.

Section from Always Smiling

Ear plugs
I’m screaming……
Do you hear me?
I wonder if anyone does
But hey I’m still screaming
And the world is deaf!

~ Nobody.

Silence speaks the Devil

The silence that dwells around me,
Seeps into a parody of fear.
It speaks of the devil,
But drives the angel near.
Who is there to strangle,
To surrender the power of life.
To give in to the hands of evil,
That which is blooming with rife.
No one is willing to save,
The fighting soul at war.
They just gaze in question,
At the treacherous moment set forth.
Forgetting to give a helping hand,
They wait, pray and hope.
Now, I know,They don't crave to die with me,
They just wish to stand and mope.

Falak Zaffer

Copyright ©2007 Falak Zaffer